Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
