Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was born a porn star she said
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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