i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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