she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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