remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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