oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
