You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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