Quick, to the slutcave!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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