Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
