I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
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