They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
