I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
