please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
