Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
