Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
