i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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