i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
