I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
