I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Say something about gay babies.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
