Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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