Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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