Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
