i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
