I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
