it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
