My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
