i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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