i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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