hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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