ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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