Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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