There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
