I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
