we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
