Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
