Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
