i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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