how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
