The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
