Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
