So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
