He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
