talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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