Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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