ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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