Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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