So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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