Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
