I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need to align my fucking chakras
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
