No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
