dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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