i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
