you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
